Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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