I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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