I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
