Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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