Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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