I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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