sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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