good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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