I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize