So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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