I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
