I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.