shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done