I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras