did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?