She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID