what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
