If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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