I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
