We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
