Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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