Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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