You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
