its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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