Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
