I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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