This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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