They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
