I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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