apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
