I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
