i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
