You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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