I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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