Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize