There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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