Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
