Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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