Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
