what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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