you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
