we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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