Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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