So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
being pregnant is like rehab
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
