There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
