everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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