Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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