i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
