Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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