Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize