everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops