How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.