i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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