my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
