Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize
