is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person