What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird