ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body