Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
