there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
