the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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