Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
