does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize