i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You dont lie about slip and slides
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.