Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
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and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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